Back from vacation and it already feels like I never left.  I hate that.

But overall, I have to say it was a successful week away.  My tan is awesome, I actually have some money left and no broken bones.  We only had one case of swimmer’s ear, one minor case of sunburn, one run in with the police and only one rescue by lifeboat.  Not bad for seven days, especially when you consider we were no less than 12 people at a pop, seven of which were kids.

Yesterday was spent putting a week’s worth of clothes, food, souvenirs and crap away.  Then a few hours of relaxing, which is ironically what you need most after a vacation!  Therefore, no pix just yet. 

But I am not the only person who was away and just returned.  BlogHer 07 is now over.  And since I did not get to go, I think I am a good candidate to relay all the dirt on what went down.  I haven’t caught up on all my reading just yet, so if I missed a post, please let me know so I can add it.

BlogHer ‘07 posts from my Blogroll buddies who were actually there:

Jen of One Plus Two was there, no doubt hounded by her many stalker admirers.  Yet, she still managed to squeeze in a few posts here and there, creating more beautiful magic with her words as she described what it was like to be face to face with so many amazing women.  How I wish I were one of her coffee gophers.

Slackermommy was there and so was PunditMom, two ladies I would give my eye teeth to meet.

Her Bad Mother was there, apparently very tired , not to mention exploited by Mom101 and Mothergoosemouse.  The antics were non-stop all around!

Chicky Chicky Baby was there chatting with Redneck Mommy about, well something or other.  How I wish I were a fly on the wall during some of the conversations that went on.  Wait, screw being the fly on the wall - I wish I was another woman in the room!

CityMama was of course there and cranked out a live blogging post of quotes from Elizabeth Edwards, among other great posts like this one where she puts some PR men in their place.

IzzyMom is still recovering, from what though we will have to wait to find out.

HOLY COW! Those are a lot of links.  Seeing them makes the reality hit home, of just how many amazing women I missed meeting in person. Next year. Next year. And for those bloggers who posted about not being at BlogHer because, like me, life got in the way - next year, next year ladies.  There’s always next year!

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UPDATED:  Perhaps we now know the reason IzzyMom is still recovering - Metro Mama offers up some dirt and photos to boot! Man those Canadians can party!

Jenny (the bloggess of Mama Drama) also posted pics, not to mention her stalking of Amy Sedaris.  I am glad to know she has this minor fault. Then next year, when I stalk her she can’t complain or hold it against me.

Lawyer Mama has some awesome photos of all our favorite bloggers in the flesh, amazingly enough at the same table.  Now I am really feeling the pangs of not being at such a female feast!

I Am Bossy gives an impressive blow by blow! (warning do not read while drinking!)

And as expected, you can count on Motherhood Uncensored to give us a Best of BlogHer 07 Awards, completely uncensored of course!

Lastly, sneaking in is Crystal of Boobs, Injuries and Dr. Pepper with her wonderfully funny bulleted list. (not for the faint of heart - as if there are any such bloggers that come here!)

Hey guess what? Our rental place has internet access! So I get to tell you all about our beach day yesterday while the sunburn, soreness and pain is still very real.  I also can’t turn my head to the right.  I have whiplash. You might say I was in a small accident.  I collided with a wave, and wave won.

Sometimes it is easy to forget you are over forty years old.  Running around after a two year old does that to me often.  So, when the kids took a break and us moms noticed the stack of boogie boards, we hit the waves.  I couldn’t tell you which wipeout actually did me in, but I do remember one in particular that tossed me around like a seashell and left me for dead. 

You would think such a tumble would teach this old hag a lesson, but no. Once I coughed up the eight ounces of sea water I swallowed and removed the pound of sand wedged up my ass, I was already scouting out my next big wave. So there we were, three moms over forty with blue lips yelling at our kids to get the hell out of the way.  The kids were desperately begging for their boards back, but every time we thought we had enough, there was another beauty of a wave cresting, too good to pass up.

My knees are completely scraped from skimming along the shells (if you pull up on the front of the board, you can ride that wave right up to the shore - not good for the knees, trust me).  My neck is one stiff puppy. And my back is nearly broken.  As I sit here right now in minor agony, I would love to tell you I learned my lesson. But in reality, I’m just killing time till the stores open so I can get my own boogie board. Screw this sharing shit. You should have seen some of the excellent waves I missed!

(pictures to come, for some reason my USB connector is not playing nice)

And you’re to blame!  But in a good way.

Today as usual I popped on over to Slackermommy’s blog to see what she was up to.  I have been reading Slackermommy’s blog ever since I knew what a blog was.  You see, Slackermommy was the first person to comment on my blog. If you have a blog, then you know what kind of a thrill it is to suddenly have a comment from someone you are not related to appear on your blog.  That is Slackermommy.  A brilliant, honest, heartfelt woman who appears out of nowhere and gives you the time of day when you certainly don’t deserve it.  The post she commented on was about potty training.  As a mother of four, she was well versed. But her advice, while helpful, paled in comparison to what she did.  She reached out and touched an unknown and without knowing it and without meaning to, gave hope.  Not about potty training, but hope about blogging.

While I was over there, I saw she was awarded the “Blogging Community Involvement Award”.  Could there have been a finer recipient in my eyes? I think not.  As described, the “Schmoozer Award” is for a blogger who schmoozes, but schmooses as in:

Schmoozing is the natural ability “to converse casually, especially in order to gain an advantage or make a social connection.” Good schmoozers effortlessly weave their way in and out of the blogosphere, leaving friendly trails and smiles, happily making new friends along the way. They don’t limit their visits to only the rich and successful, but spend some time to say hello to new blogs as well. They are the ones who engage others in meaningful conversations, refusing to let it end at a mere hello - all the while fostering a sense of closeness and friendship.

Slackermommy IS THE ONE! I vehemently nodded my head in full agreement as I read this description.  Then I read on to find that she in turn awarded me this same accomplishment.  To say I am honored is putting it mildly. VERY MILDLY.  

Thank you Slackermommy, for even considering me remotely in your league! I don’t know where this award started from or how originated it, but I am amazed that it has reached me. It found its way to me from the one person I would have handed it to if I thought of it myself. 

Since I can’t throw it back to her without being a complete moron who doesn’t know how these things are done, I will pass it on to these folks who also deserve to be called schmoozers in the most beloved way:

1)  BubandPie: A woman who also reached out to me in the early days, I have always (and I mean always) been grateful she did.  Such a warm and genuine person it radiates throughout every post she writes, which are brilliantly written by the way.  She is sincere in the way we all pretend to be and it shows through her heartfelt writing that makes me melt.

2)  Jen of One Plus Two:  I am always in awe of Jen.  Who isn’t?  To look into her heart is to know what humanity means and how it ought to be and would be if we all tried as hard. Her first comment on my blog was “I am so glad I found you”.  Those words haunt me to this day every time I read her blog.  Glad she found me?  She is so pure at heart, she doesn’t even know what she brings.

3)  Jess at Oh, The Joys: Another woman who fits this description to a tee.  She reached out and I was hooked immediately.  Everyone knows how she can make you laugh with every sentence she writes. But over the past year I feel I have gotten to know her, and during this year she has made me cry, made me ponder, made me shout out and has made me hope.  The kind of person I can only aspire to be.  And yet, she takes it all in stride, which only proves my point so well.

I know I sound like a broken record here, and I know that given more hours in the day, I could easily sit here and write paragraph after paragraph as to how every woman and man I have met in this virtual world could be and is worthy of this award.  It is late, forgive me if I stop at three.  Consider yourself a schmoozer because in the end, if you have been here and bothered to give me the time of day, you are all of that and much more!

I think one of the reasons my daughter talks so well for being only two years old (please bear with my proud mom boasting for a sec) is because I am an over talker.  I am sure you will agree, after a year of reading my endless babbling, that this is a well known fact.  I talk too much.

When I am around her, instead of just thinking to myself silently, I let the thoughts tumble out of my mouth without any checks or balances, especially when it is just the two of us. She soaks up this verbal attention even though half the time, she has no clue what it is I am saying.  As for me, I get to hear myself talk, so it’s a win-win situation all around.

Yesterday, while we were hanging out in the yard, she noticed a dead bug being devoured by an army of ants. Piper was enthralled with this new scene.  I rambled on as usual, also quite captivated with the wonders of nature and the chain of life.  As usual, she just nodded her head at my words, repeating tail ends of phrases as if she fully understood this one way conversation that was going on. Then in between my pauses, she would point at the vision in front of her and repeat, “Look! Ants eat bug,” with the same enthusiasm as the first time she discovered it.

But apparently she isn’t just robotically nodding her head, but really processing my monologues in her very own two year old way. Because this morning when we she noticed the half eaten remains of that bug, she pointed to it and once again said, “Look mommy, ants eat bug!”  But then stood there quietly for a second before saying to herself, “That Da-win. The fittest.”

I almost fell off my chair. Yes baby, Darwinian evolution and the survival of the fittest are all part of the chain of life. Who would have thought she was actually listening all that time? Personally, in my humble opinion, I think my daughter is going to fare pretty well in this world.  For a two year old, she seems pretty fit to me.

Ok, mommy boasting over.  But, that one was too good to keep to myself.  We are soon to be off to the shore!  Since I won’t be around before all you fine ladies jet off to Chicago, I will wish you all a wonderful time right now. I am looking forward to reading all about your adventures when you return, despite the fact that I am so jealous I could spit nails.

Since I can’t be there, I was hoping you guys could do me a favor?  There is a debate going on in my house, and maybe a roomfull of women bloggers, especially mom bloggers can help us resolve this issue.  Maybe you can all take a poll on this while you are running around meeting each other and knocking back Mai Tais.

When exactly should parents stop referring to their child as “the baby”.  We still do it. “Can you get the baby?”  “Watch the baby?” “Where’s the baby’s coat?” “Guess what the baby did?”

Meanwhile, “the baby” is a walking, running, self feeding independent little person who says things like “shut up” and “cool dude” and “Darwin is the fittest”.

I am just curious as to what others think about this.

Meanwhile, HAVE FUN!!!! I will be thinking of you all there as I lounge on the beach sipping my own sandy Mai Tai!!!