Momish Googles: Transporter

I am a Google junkie, so I thought from time to time I would let ya’ll know just what it is I am spending my time looking up on Google.  I even created a new category for this latest endeavor of mine.  It makes me wonder why I only have one reader when I do all this amazing stuff here on this blog.  But I digress.

Today’s Momish Google: Transporter.

What I was hoping to find out was just how close we are to actually using the Star Trek pretend technology for real.

Here’s my dilemma…  Today, one of my dearest friends is moving to Italy.  Like for good.  As in Forever.  And then later this month, my other dear friend will be taking her toddler back to Ireland. Ireland. I probably won’t see her until Christmas, that is if she decides to come visit.  Her toddler will be completely grown up by then.  And need I remind everyone that my other best friend lives in England.  As in across the ocean, England.

With all my friends spread out across the globe, I need a more efficient means of travel than your ordinary jet.  I’m desperate to see if beaming is an option I would have in the near future. Apparently it is not.

Result:  What I found out from my Google search, is that some really important physicist named Michio Kaku thinks that teleporters will be invented within the next 100 years.

HELLO? 100 years! People, that just won’t do. I’ll most likely be dead by then!  Do any of those MIT folks understand just how much I need this shit working like right now? I can’t afford to be flying all over the globe every other week to visit my ungrateful ex-friends on those rinky dink ordinary planes!

What I need is to be able to beam to Italy, have lunch with that little bitch who left me and be back in time for my 3:00 conference. Now really, is that too much to ask?

Which leads me to my next search:  MIT Projects. 

Just what the hell are those people wasting their time on anyway? 

Result: According to their website, their time is being spent on designing new space uniforms, how to enhance drugs, beating cancer and other such nonsense.  C’mon, who exactly is working on making the pretend transporter a reality here? 

Which leads me to my next Google search: Who is really working on a transporter?

Result: Two guys are really working on a transporter!  But oops, they were actually astronaughts working on a mobile transporter in space circa 2006. That won’t get me to Italy anytime this century.  Another hit result informed me that the estimated time it would take for a computer to process and compute the complex atomic makeup of a human being would be roughly 22 million years. I am pretty sure I will be dead by then. 

So it doesn’t look like I will have the option to beam here or there to visit my friends this year, at least.

Which leads me to my overall search results:  Terribly disappointing.