Needful Things
Wednesday, May 6, 2009 at 12:33PM “Mama, we need to the backpack store after school and get me a new backpack.”
“Why do you suddenly need a new backpack, Piper?” I asked, as I continued to buckle her into the car seat, resigning to the fact that this morning was probably not going to go smoothly.
“Because I don’t like Diego anymore.”
Instinct told me this had nothing to do with getting a new backpack. Or Diego.
“Why don’t you like Diego anymore?”
“Because Santino says Diego is for boys and Dora is for girls. So we need to go to the backpack store so I can get a Dora backpack.”
As we drove on, I tried to combat this onslaught of gender stereotyping. You can like both… You don’t have to choose… Mommy’s a girl and she loves Diego…
When I dropped her off, I could tell she wasn’t convinced. But I could also tell she wasn’t as eager to turn her back on Diego just yet. I knew my own opinions would pale in comparison to the opinions of a four year old boy named Santino. Not because he was a boy or her classmate, but simply because he planted a seed, a seed that my daughter with her sharp mind and observation skills is now reaping into a very real dilemma.
Once she processed what Santino said, she most likely noticed that none of the other girls had an orange and green Diego backpack. Instead, they carried the pink Disney Princess or Dora backpacks. She most likely noticed that none of the other girls entertained themselves with rescuing the whales or winning the rainforest race. Instead, they played tea party and house. And as a result of these observations, she most likely came to realize that maybe, just maybe she wasn’t quite fitting in.
According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, the need to belong is such a compelling force that it is only surpassed by the physical needs of survival (food, clothing and shelter) and the security needs for safety. Considering this, it is not that surprising that my four year old is ready to trade in her beloved animal rescuer, Diego for the substandard Dora, who merely explores. In her mind, siding with Dora and the world of pink will allow her to belong.
Yes, her dilemma is very real, and with that dilemma my baby has reached another level of maturity and has taken a giant step up the ladder towards self actualization. She must now balance her own individual wants against the constant pressure to conform. I just hope that I can help smooth out a few of the nasty bumps and hurdles she is bound to face along the way. And maybe, just maybe, I can rescue Diego for her right now.
Reader Comments (2)
santino is a little fish in a huge pond.... piper has a brain and uses it, i am certain she is clever enough to enjoy diego and have a tea party if she wants. maybe santino should try tea.
My boys (9 and 11) have a GIGANTIC Dora doll that now lives in our closet. They loved Dora as little children -- and back then it was pre-Diego. Boots was the closest thing to a Y chromosoned being. They also had a play kitchen. It was no big deal and I think they honestly relate better to girls today because they weren't discouraged back then to like what they like. Good for you. Go Diego!