An Unplugged Connection

This past Wednesday, I was invited to join my first blogging get together EVER.  Although she never met any of us, this amazing women opened her home, her heart and her life to a group of strangers whose only connection was that we all live near by and blog. 

I almost didn’t go. 

The night was wonderful, our hostess was the best and all the women I met were amazing.  Beyond amazing.  Several of the women who were there have already written about it.  How everything just flowed and any fly on the wall could never have guessed that half of us, the bigger half, have never met before that night.

But I almost didn’t go.

You see, I don’t really consider myself a blogger these days.  I rarely post and I comment even less.  I am so out of touch with this amazing community that I use to treasure and find strength in.  Two years ago I would have relished in finding terrific new blogs that promise great reads, connections and possible friends.  And, on some level, I still do relish it.  I have started adding them all to my bloglines and have even bopped around to check out some posts.  (It’s such a special treat when you can actually put a voice, a face and a personality to that virtual name.)

And yet. I almost didn’t go.

Because. Well. Because I wasn’t sure I could afford to go.  I can’t tell you how sad it makes me that most of the emails I write, phone calls I make and hugs I share begin with I am so sorry…

I am so sorry I haven’t written in ages…, I am so sorry I didn’t call you last week…, I am so sorry I missed your birthday…, I am so sorry I couldn’t come over…, I am so sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me…

It’s not that my job keeps me too busy, or that Piper is at a very needy age, or that my house constantly looks like a bomb exploded, or that my fridge is once again bare.

It’s not one thing over the other, it is all of the things at once.  I can barely keep up.  And blogging is just one of those things I can’t keep up with, regardless of how much I would love to.

So, yeah. I almost didn’t go.  Because, I really didn’t think I belonged there or deserved to be there.

If it not for the fact that I hadn’t seen Bossy in over 20 years, I wouldn’t have gone.

But I did go.  And I am so glad I went.  Even if it ends up being a connection so brief between me and many of the women I met.  It was still a connection.  A human connection.  After so many years of blogging and wanting desperately to meet all these virtual friends.  I connected.  Unplugged.  And It was great.  And inspiring.  I want to regain my bloggy self.  I miss it all too much and I am missing way too much.

But first I have to make a few phone calls, write some emails, clean my house, go food shopping, play CandyLand…

Comments

[lora]

well, I am very glad you came, and the reason that I do this is because we are all saying "I'm sorry but..." way too often. This is something that is always there, and everyone is always welcome and no matter what you bring to the table (literally and figuratively) you will be welcomed and accepted.

In fact, a few weeks ago, a friend came with nothing but tears in her eyes, ate a lot, said nothing, pounded a glass of wine, and left with barely a goodbye. We all understood completely. Sometimes you just need to do that.
She emailed me the next day with a million thank yous that she didn't have to do that all alone.