Parenting. Ugh!

A while back I bought this play stroller for Piper at a flea market.  It cost me 4 dollars.  She played with that thing constantly.  So, when it finally broke (it wasn’t in the best shape to begin with), I bought her a new one.  Like from a real store, covered in plastic and all.

Shortly after, I overheard my oldest daughter warning Piper not to sit in the stroller or it would break.  To which Piper responded, “That’s OK.  Mommy will just buy me a new one. In blue.”

Ugh!

That was when I realized she was indeed now three years old and in danger of becoming a spoiled brat if I continued to buy things on a whim.  Before, she was too young to notice or care whenever I suddenly showed up with a new toy or a new outfit.  But then somehow she grew up while I wasn’t looking.

When I heard her say that to her sister, I didn’t correct her or do anything.  Instead, I vowed not to buy things for her unless there was an occasion, like her birthday or the first day of school, etc.  And for the most part, I have kept to this vow.  At times I have bought her DVD’s or books, but I figure she could never know to ask for them. 

So last spring, when her play Tinkerbell phone broke, I more or less shrugged my shoulder and said, “Oh well.”  Not wanting to throw it out in front of her, I told her we would try to get it fixed.  I stashed the broken phone away in a drawer and I totally forgot about it.

Piper didn’t.

Yesterday, she asked me when could she could start her Christmas list (she must have noticed all the holiday stuff cropping up in stores).  I said we could start it right now and got out a piece of paper. 

“What do you want to ask Santa for this year?”

“A new Tinkerbell phone!”  Then she ran to the drawer, rooted around until she found the old one.  “This is all I want! A new one of these, or maybe Santa can fix this one for me!”

Ugh!

Now don’t I just feel like a total and complete shit!

All this time, this poor kid has been aching for this stupid phone that costs all of five dollars if that. As if five dollars would have killed me. Honestly, I was completely heart broken.  I could have easily picked up a new one ages ago.  She use to play with that thing all the time, so I should have realized it was a treasured favorite toy and worth replacing.  It’s not as it she actually broke either, the batteries just died. 

Five freaking dollars.

I tell you, I don’t know what the hell I am doing sometimes.  I thought I was avoiding turning her into a spoiled brat, but now I just feel like some big mean bully that fucked over a helpless four year old for nothing. 

Ugh!

Comments

[lora]

we have this same struggle, and it's gotten to the point that Jake doesn't get anything after he breaks something. Even if he breaks a car he won't get a new shirt.

And then last night he was crying about getting presents. I was pissed!

[Jane]

Don't beat yourself up! I say this was an opportunity for you to find out what really matters to her. It's no crime to make a child wait for something. Halloween is just around the corner - put batteries in her old phone and slip it to her Halloween morning!

[Emily]

If she was really suffering, she would have hounded you every day for the Tinkerbell phone. Kudos to you for trying to do the right thing! We tend to want to give our kids everything because we love them so -- but NOT giving them everything is so much harder, but so much more important. You are teaching her patience -- or maybe you are teaching yourself patience. Either way - it is a great lesson. Easier said then done though, says the women who just bought a brand new trampoline because the old one broke. :)

[passions and soapboxes]

Personally I think you did the right thing. These are the learning years and it is important that she learns to appreciate and value her things. This will translate into how she values people later on. It's hard because we love them so much and we hate to see them unhappy but you are her teacher and she will learn life's lessons from you. So when you have doubts ask yourself "what do you want her to learn from this".
Hope the kindle information helped.

[humorworks]

tough job being momish..........so what's on the list?