The Ultimate Why

Piper has been in Catholic school for about a month now, and already I see the effects. 

“Church is God’s home.”

“Jesus loves me.”

“God made Oreo black and white instead of brown.”

I just smile at her because truth be told, this just makes life easier for both of us. Piper is like every other four year old in that she is obsessed with why, why, why, why, why.  Endless why’s that I have no answer for, at least no satisfactory answer that is.  

“Why did the bird fly into the tree, mommy?” she’ll ask. Well, I can easily say, I don’t know, I’m not a bird, but that just doesn’t cut it with her and leaves her frustrated.  Or I can guess and come up with a little white lie, because that is where his home is, but that just leaves me frustrated because eventually she will continue with the why questions until she gets to what I call The Ultimate Why, which basically reduces to “why as opposed to why not.” Why do birds fly, mommy? Why can’t we fly, mommy? Why are there birds, mommy?…

And these type of why questions cannot be answered by science, psychology, mathematics, physics or any other ology out there.  To me, this is the reason I believe religion and spirituality continue to thrive and find a place in our world to this day, even with all our advances in science.  This is why religion and spirituality continue to thrive in this household to this day, even though we believe in Darwinian evolution, the scientific method and the like.

Why as opposed to why not.

Science and all of the ologies do a great job at giving us theories and explanations about the how, when, where and what.  But why involves intentionality.  Ologies fall short in explaining the intentionality behind the end result and always will, unlike religion which is all about the intentionality. There are many people that think there is no need for religion anymore in this day and age. But I disagree. Until science can give us an answer as to why the big bang happened at all or why all of this is here as opposed to nothingness, then religion has a place in our lives because it precisely answers those questions and answers them definitively.

And for my inquisitive four year old, who is trying to schematize her world and make sense of it all, the answers that provide intentionality are extremely important.  After all, this is all she knows. At this age, she is completely grounded and governed by her emotions, feelings, desires, impulses, wants and needs.  So any answer that lacks an element of intentionality falls short and the why’s will keep coming until she hears a reason that she can relate to, based on the concreteness of her world as she knows it. 

As for me? I can tell you I feel the twinge of hypocrisy when I respond or agree with the because that is what God wanted, or that is what God decided, or that is what makes God happy.  But at the same time, I heave a sigh of relief that she has these answers. Because for all I know, this is the truth. At the very least, it is what I was taught and years of schooling and endless reading have yet to yield any disproof that would make me tell my daughter otherwise. 

Although I am resolved with not knowing, my inquisitive and very smart preschooler is not quite ready for that.  Sure, I could continue to frustrate her with the “I don’t know” answers that I grapple with, but in reality I am happy she has an alternative. An alternative that this school and this religious community offers her.  They can provide her with the satisfactory answers that I cannot provide her with, not with any true conviction that is.  Maybe some day she will dig a little deeper, question a little harder, analyze more discretely and when that day comes I will be there for her. If she ever asks me, I will tell her the truth about how I feel, that I just don’t know.

If she ever asks me.

But for now, I have to admit that I am grateful I can offer her a confidence in God’s good intentions that helps her make sense of her world, especially in such a beautiful and loving way.

Comments

[Jane]

You are providing your bright, inquisitive daughter with a foundation. Because she's being exposed to other "answers" (yours and her schooling) she'll be able to come up with her own truths. My husband is not Catholic, I am. We sent our children to a Catholic Pre-School and I'm so glad we did, and happily, so is my husband. He's not completely "on board" with much of Catholic teaching but he DID agree that a beautiful foundation was laid. He often quotes a Chinese proverb "One mountain, many paths." The important thing is to live a spiritual life and provide the example. (Oops! Didn't mean to get so heavy here...you just touched on something that I've only recently wrestled with. Keep up the good work, mom!)

[Jessica]

How she's learning...and the way she sees her world...will probably give her a secure foundation to deal with those questions again at an older age...when the answers may change to "brown."