When I first went to college (at the ripe old age of 22), I was still undecided on what I wanted to do for a living and why I was there. One thing that appealed to me was interpreting for the deaf, so I began taking classes in American Sign Language (ASL) to fulfill my language credits.

Just like any language, after studying it for several years, you begin to think you actually have a handle on it and start to delude yourself into believing you are bi-lingual.  I was at that delusional point when I accepted an invitation from my instructor to attend a BBQ with a group of his friends.

Feeling all confident, I went and quickly discovered I didn’t know jack shit about ASL.  Thankfully, several people were either hearing people like me or were deaf but could speak very well like my instructor.  So in many ways I was able to keep afloat just by following the speaking people.  Sort of like filling in the blanks when you overhear one side of a telephone conversation.

The one thing I remember most about that night (other than feeling like a dying fish out of water) was “Train gone, sorry”.  It is a saying the deaf have that basically means, “too bad you missed it, but I ain’t signing it again”.  Within ten minutes of being there, that expression was thrown at me over a dozen times.  It quickly became the story of my life within the deaf community.

Train gone, sorry.  Train gone, sorry.  Train gone, sorry.

I hadn’t thought about that in years.  But when I woke up this morning, for some reason it came to me like a ton of bricks.  I was lying in bed trying to organize in my head all the crap I have to do this weekend.  Trying to figure out how I was going to fit it all in. Trying desperately to remember the vital things I just knew I was forgetting. Trying to look ahead and invision when I will feel on top of things again.  When will I be able to relax, knowing what needs to be done is done.  When will this sense of back pedaling, trying to catch up and running in circles finally go away?

Yeah, that’s when it hit me. Train gone, sorry.

Forgive me for being absent lately. New job, new daycare, new routines and the holiday weekend… that train is not only gone, but I am still choking on its dust!