The End of An Era

So there we were minding our own business, going about our normal daily routine exactly like we always do. My husband was cooking dinner, while I was setting the table. Piper was in her high chair, quietly singing to herself.

la la la di se da, la tra la la soo saaa…

My husband began to drain the pasta. He carried the heavy pot over to the sink and poured it out over the sieve. A cloud of steam rose up and surrounded him.

“Shit!”, he yelled, “Damn that is hot!”

When Piper saw the steam, her eyes opened wide, “Oooooh”, she said and then returned to her singing.

shit di de la , shit tra la dooo daa shit shit…

Two seconds later, I put the bowl of sauce on the table, placing it down just a tad too hard. It splattered all over, including onto my white blouse.

“Fuck-ing-A!”, I yelled in disgust.

Piper paused for a split second, pointed to the spilt sauce, “Uh-oh!”, she said and then went right back to her singing.

fuck aye di da de shit , la la fuck aye la doo da shit…

And that was how it happened.  Out of the blue, just like that.  One day you are swearing away like a drunken sailor, then BAM, SPLAT, KABOOM! Suddenly your glorious days of care free cursing have come to a bitter end.  Naturally, we are devastated. Our house seems so quiet and empty. All we can do is mope around, silently mourning our loss.  Please, in lieu of flowers or sympathy cards, we simply ask that you dedicate your next heartfelt expletives in our honor.

Comments

[Oh, The Joys]

May I offer my sincerest condolences and extend a "Jeebus Marscaponing Roberta Flack!"

[slackermommy]

I'm mourning with you...(moment of silence). My kids aren't fazed anymore by my cursing. Isn't that sad?

[Sayre]

My first WORD was "damn"... courtesy of my dad, who had just hit his thumb with a hammer while trying to hang something in my nursery. And so began my illustrious cursing career...

[Mad Hatter]

I'm still in the clear but that sailor's mouth is going to bite me in the fuckin' ass real soon.

Piper, it would seem, took it all in stride.

[jen]

oh...yes. we had a similar experience...and are mouring the loss ever since.

[Sparky Ducky]

screw it, I would still curse like a drunken sailor. The kids will learn that language anyway, why not learn proper usage

[denguy]

There was no way we were going to be able to stop the cussin'. I just gave in and explained to my daughter that they weren't "bad" words, they were just not polite, dammit.

[Ann]

My mom likes to tell this story: when my brother was little and she was driving my dad to the airport. My dad says 'sure is shitty weather'. The next day my mom visited Sister Norma (her great Aunt) with my brother in tow and he said all afternoon....'sure is shitty weather, mama....'

[Becky L]

i'm really worried for the day when my daughter might pick up on something like that. i'm crossing my fingers that it never happens.

[Penny]

I wish I could say that I've buried my expletives. I try. They just keep resurrecting themselves and occassionally possessing my daughter.

But, she's pretty good at giving me hell for dropping F-bombs.

[Becky]

AHAHA! My first word was "shit", according to my grandmother any way. My Princess is old enough to know better now (she constantly reminds me of all the bad words I say) but she occasionally tries to sneak one in when she doesn't think I can hear her... but I have super-Mommy hearing now, so I hear EVERYTHING. And now that the Peanut is of "parrot"-age, she is beginning to repeat all the bad words we say and occasionally uses them out of the blue so we're left going "did she just say...?"

For the most part, though, I would have to say that my foul language has not been tempered too much. I know, I'm a bad parent.

[Heather(Queen of the Mayhem)]

What a sad time for you! I still mourn the loss of my cursing privileges. You can still spell them. It is even sadder here as my third grader is an excellent speller, so even that thrill is gone. I have nothing left to live for! (hee-hee)

[you da mom]

i cuss a lot. so does my husband. needless to say, i'm not looking forward to the day squid starts to mimic.

[venessa]

We've battled the cussing thing as well. I do swear on occasion and A and Em both have repeated it although not usually in public, thank goodness. It's a bother, but obviously not one that has inspired me to give up the joy of saying "Fuck" for good. Bad momma!

[Michelle]

Wait till she pulls that one out for company :)

[Momish]

Well, it's really good to know I am not the only potty mouth mama around, and that I won't be the only one that cannot control it either! Cause you know those bad words are just gonna keep rolling out of my big fat mouth.

[PunditMom]

I HATE that I've lost the ability to swear at other drivers when R. is in the car. We have had some SERIOUSLY close incidents with the A@#$%&* word!

[clickmom]

My oldest is 14 and I held those words in for so long that now I have the biggest potty mouth ever. Can't help it, it just comes out! Unfortunately I still have a 6 year old. Also unfortunately his kindergarten teacher told me yesterday that my sweet baby has been tossing around the F word in class. OOoopps.