Fashion Faux Pas #74

Fasion Faux Pas #74

This top is one of my latest fashion disasters (I know, you can admit it; you thought I meant the hair. Sadly, that has been a catastrophe since the 8^th grade!). Aside from the hair, you’re probably thinking, “It’s not that bad...” or “love the color.” Look real closely, though. (Please stop staring at the bad hair and try, just try to focus on the shirt) In addition to showing every minute detail of back fat, the ties on that thing are a friggin’ nightmare! I probably had to retie those damn things at least 20 times yesterday. By my rough calculations, 40% of those reties were due to spontaneous unfolding (the heaviness of the fabric coupled with the silkiness does not work). The remaining times, it was because I untied them on purpose! My back couldn’t take it anymore. It was like a tennis ball grinding into my vertebrae non stop. Pure torture.

This is a perfect example of why I don’t think any of my guardian angels put in a lot of overtime. I completely understand that their main job is to keep me from danger. And, trust me, I totally appreciate the very hard work this entails. The way I walk around in a daze, they are forever saving my ass. Or how I focus too intently at times? They always manage to snap me out of it a split second before the kid tries to eat a handful of pennies or something. So, yeah, I am truly grateful, honestly. But, it would be nice to get some help in the non-vital areas now and then, like fashion. All I’m saying is how hard what have be to just put a small sinking feeling in my stomach whenever I’m debating buying a huge mistake like this one? Right there, right in Loehmann's dressing room. Just casually throw me a hint of doubt that could make me think, “Well, I don’t know, these ties might get annoying.” Hell, screw saving the 20 bucks at the store, just stop me from wearing it on a day I have to sit through conferences hours on end. I’m just asking for a measly two second warning while I'm standing there, half awake at some ungodly hour in the morning, “Nah, today’s not the best of days to be having a make-shift tennis ball digging into your back every time you try to sit down. And for heaven’s sake, child! Definitely not with those pants! You know how those pockets bug the shit out of you. They’ll be hooking you up to a morphine drip by noon!” 

Comments

[slackermommy]

What back fat? You look pretty damn skinny to me! I'll show you back fat!

[Bobo]

If you don't like that shirt, I'll take it off your hands for you.

*Wuff* *Wuff*

[Andrea]

I know you have been asking for comments so I will give it a shot. Yes ties are annoying. I usually end up cutting them off, or permanently stitching or gluing them flat. As far a guardian angel of fashion, mine must have retired when I was born.

[jenny]

Can you tie it in the front? Belts are coming back in I hear.

PS. your backfat must be invisible because I can't see it.