Desperate Measures

I did a foolish thing. I know it was stupid, but these are desperate times for me as I prepare for this new job. In anticipation of next week’s stress, I took out a piece of paper and wrote this:

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My Dearest Daughter,

Mommy loves you with all her heart. You mean everything to mommy, really you do. But mommy is not what us adults call a MORN-ING PER-SON. And mommy is not what adults describe as OR-GAN-IZED or as having her SHIT TO-GETH-ER. So mommy can’t play with you at seven A-M. Mommy has to go to work. Mommy will lose her brand new job is she is always late. 

So, be a good girl. Eat your Cheerios. Let mommy put your shoes on. Forget the toys. No toys. Toys are for after school. Because cookies don’t grow on trees.

But remember, mommy loves you very much.

xoxoxoxox

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Then I took the piece of paper and held it up against her forehead, hoping and praying by some sheer miracle of osmosis, it would get through to her!

Comments

[Neila]

I love it!! We all do what we have to do.

I was trying to catch up on phone calls today, so I gave my daughter the only thing that would keep her quiet - a box of tampons to play with. She loves taking them apart - go figure.

[Jenny]

I SOOO could have written this. I have to tell at least one of my four children that "I'm not a morning person," at least once every morning.

Let me know about the osmosis thing because pounding it into their heads is NOT working.

[Paige]

Oh my God, this was funny. Can I hire you to write some version of this for my daughter, who would not let Mommy con-cen-trate while she was conducting a tele-phone inter-view today?

[Heather]

Please tell me this worked! I am willing to try just about anything! Maybe I could send mine an email! I suppose if I got really desperate, I could force my daughter to read it to my son! The only catch is getting him to listen!

[jen]

did it work? will it work? not stupid if it does, sister. not at all.

[sweatpantsmom]

Me - definitely not a morning person. In fact, I would say I'm not a noon person either. More of a 'Late Afternoon After I've Had My Double Cappuccino' kind of person.

[Oh, The Joys]

Did it work?

[Jenny]

I don't mean to giggle but right on, sister!

[Jenny]

I don't mean to giggle but right on, sister!

[Momish]

I will let you all know if it works come next week. I will be rubbing it on her forehead as part of our morning ritual until it does sink in!!!

[CrankMama]

Also not a morning person.... I wish MY children would have read the memo..

What's the new gig?

[Momish]

CrankMama: Same old job, just different company. A better position with more opportunity though!