Turning Over A New Leaf

How appropriate is it that just as autumn is coming in full force, I am turning over a new leaf? Yes, I am going to start doing nice things for my sister. Not because I love her, which I do by the way, after all, she is my sister. Not because I need to make things up to her, because, after all she is my sister and that is a given. And, not because now we get along better than we ever had, which isn’t a given, but a gift, none-the-less. But, no, I am going to start doing nice things for my sister because I love and care about my daughter.

You see, my sister is the good sister. The competent one. The normal one. I know my daughter will need her one day, so I figure I better get cracking on building up that emotional blackmailing arsenal for the future. I figure I have about five years to stack up a really good pile of manipulation ammo. Then, when I ask my sister for a favor, I can start listing all the fabulous things I have done for her over the years.

I keep having these same two flashback scenes going through my head. The first took place when I was probably around eight or nine. I am hanging out in New York City with my cousin at her birthday party. My aunt is there, being my aunt. She was the crazy one. My mom was the normal one. There she was dancing wildly, singing like a nut ball, doing all these wacky antics for our entertainment. Smiling ear to ear, I turn to share the moment with my cousin, the birthday girl, only to see a look of complete and utter mortification on her face. To me, it was refreshing and exciting to have an adult act so unusual and out of character. To my cousin, it was embarrassing to have her mom acting like a total goofball in front of her friends.

Flash forward some (uhem) 25 years or so to this past summer. Our family is enjoying a day at the beach. My niece and I are playing on the wet sand. We are doing cartwheels, dancing to silly song lyrics we are making up as we go along, falling down in hysterics, just acting like average day weirdos do. My niece is having a blast. I see the huge Cheshire grin on her face. I am her nutty aunt and I am loving that role. Until I notice my daughter playing in the sand next to my normal sister and my normal mother, who are both sitting there, acting the way proper adults should behave. I imagine my daughter seven years from now standing where my niece is, waiting to see what I will do next. Only the beaming smile is replaced with same look of dread that was on my cousin’s face so long ago.

Ever since I read this post by Blog Antagonist, it’s got me to thinking about how moms will never be able to escape embarrassing their young, no matter how hard they try. I know I won’t be able to completely shelter my child from this inevitable fate. And, I hope, just like my cousin, she eventually will come to appreciate having a goofball mom, being different in that good way. So, when I say I am turning over a new leaf, believe me it has nothing to do with changing who I am (because, really, I’m not that bad). Instead, I’m just going to be nicer to my sister. This way, for those really important times… those times when there’s a real risk that Piper could be scarred for life by what her mother says and does in front of friends, teachers or the general public… Well, for those sketchy times, I can just shove my sister in my place. By then she’ll owe me.

Comments

[bubandpie]

This is why Pride and Prejudice is such a great novel for 12-year-olds: it's all about being embarrassed by your family, and especially by your mother.

[jen]

Absolutely! And nothing wrong with having a little backup.

[Jenny]

We are so sharing a mind today. First of all I wrote about sisters and wacky family members AND it was in a post inspired by your meme.

PS. Give up now and embrace your embarrassing qualities. That's what I plan on doing.

[Oh, The Joys]

It is amazing how important family becomes once we have children, isn't it? My "mommy issues" kind of melted away because the grandma relationship is way more important than the mother-daughter one...