“Mommy,” she asked, “Why don’t you like the rain on your car?”
“What do you mean? I don’t mind if my car gets wet.” I give her a quick curt answer, completely distracted.
“But you keep wiping it away.”
“What?” I am completely confused for a minute until I realize what she means. “The windshield wipers?” Laughing to myself, I explain, “Sweetie, I have to wipe the rain away or I won’t be able to see where I’m going.”
“Mommy, it’s so sad you have to wipe it away. I think it is just so beautiful.”
She seemed so distraught over it, that I offer a compromise. “Tell you what. When we get to school, we can sit for a while and watch it hit the windshield. Without the wipers. OK?”
And that is just what we did. We sat parked outside of her school watching the rain fall down on the windshield until she broke the silence. “Don’t you think it’s just so beautiful, Mommy?”
Instead of committing an outright lie, I just turned to her and smiled. “C’mon honey, we have to go now.”
After dropping her off and darting back to my car, I just sat there for a moment, by myself this time and watched the rain pounding against the windshield.
“No.” I admitted out loud. “I do not think it’s beautiful.”
In fact, I thought it was ugly and depressing. After three months of continuous rainy days, I am very bitter. And with each morning that I wake and realize another one of my precious summer days is being stolen from me, I get even more bitter. It’s June. It should be sunny and warm, not dreary and cold.
And yet I sat there some more, watching it pour on my windshield. Not because I thought the rain was “just so beautiful” as my daughter put it. But because I thought my daughter was just so beautiful. And languishing in the memory of a sweet and innocent moment with her is like capturing a small ray of sunshine that can get me through yet another gloomy day.