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Friday
05Feb2010

The Hat & The Globe

The Story of The Hat:

We needed to buy Piper a new hat.  And indeed, after minimal searching, we found a rather fine specimen.  A lovely green elf-like hat with a wonderful tiger emblem on the front and a pompom on the top to boot.  She loved it.  And for four dollars, we had no reason to hesitate, so we bought it straight away.

Task complete.

But I quickly noticed how Piper would strut to school proudly in her new hat only to pull it roughly off her head befor entering the school doors.   Each day, she donned her new hat with enthusiasm, then ripped it off her head, stuffing it into her pocket before anyone could notice.

Finally, after several days of this charade, I asked her why she did such a foolish thing.

“I am afraid the other kids will make fun of me,” was all she said.

Heart broken, I had a long talk with her about what really mattered here.  With full confidence, I told her, “Piper, I am sure the other kids will love your hat.  But still, there may be one or two kids who don’t like the color or the shape or the tiger or the pompom.  But be that as it may, the only thing that matters here is if YOU like your hat! Because honey, you will never be able to please everyone, so it is more important to please yourself! “

Trusting me as the all knowing and powerful adult, the next day she walked through those school doors with the green elf-like hat, pompom and all, securely resting upon her head.

Within minutes, her teacher proclaimed what a fabulous hat she had on and oh, how she wished she had a hat exactly like that for herself.  All of the other kids agreed, that indeed, it was a mighty fine hat! 

From that day on, Piper wore her hat with pride and marched right through those school doors without nary a second thought at all.  And naturally (as to be expected), I proudly patted myself on the back for being the ever wise mother, the sage old mama who correctly guided her four year old daughter down the path of self fulfillment and righteousness, la di da da, broo ha ha, blah blah blah and so on and so on.

 The Story of The Globe:

I recently had my five year anniversary at work.  And as is customary at my company with such major milestones, I was given a catalog of items from which I could choose a lovely gift from the myriad of unique items offered.  On the day of my announcement, several colleges of mine inquired as to what I would be choosing for my very special gift. 

Innocently enough, I told them the truth. 

I was considering the globe.

“THE GLOBE!” 

Each of them had their own opinion as to why this choice of a globe was inferior to all the other choices offered to me. It was useless, unnecessary, unworthy and so it went on.  Even my husband wondered where in carnation would be put such a globe, and why in the world would we ever want one to begin with.

Although no one outright said anything of the sort, all I heard was, “Dork. Weirdo. Geek. Freak.”

So in the end, I proceeded to order for myself the black Fossil satchel handbag with soft leather trimming instead of the globe.

Several weeks later, I walked into my co-worker’s office and in my typical fashion, plopped myself in front of the world map on his wall.  After contemplating the world map for a few moments, I said something rather nonchalant like, “Gee, I never realized New Guinea was so close to Australia.”  To which my co-worker responded something along the lines of, “My God! You are always so obsessed with that map. Honestly, I don’t understand why you don’t just get one of your own!”

The Moral of The Hat & The Globe:

No matter how wise and loving of a mother to a four year old you may be, it does not mean you have conquered the insecure and doubtful four year old who still resides inside you.

Piper gallantly wears her elf-like green hat to school each day.

The black Fossil handbag collects another layer of dust in our hall closet each day.

Wednesday
13Jan2010

In A Word

I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions.  I feel they are just another means of setting myself up for failure and honestly, who really needs that?  No, I refrain from setting goals with deadlines and bottom lines and all that jazz.  I’ve got enough of that crap in my job and regular life thank you very much, so why would I willingly impose more of it on my psyche just because it’s time to whip out a new calendar?

Instead, each new year I choose a defining word.  It’s still a new year’s resolution in many ways, just not tied to specifics if you will.  In the past few years, my words have been intrepid, serendipity, cultivation among others…

Last year, my word was plenty.  I chose that word because I realized a lot of my anxiety and worry was based around “not having enough”.  Not having enough time, money, resources, goals, fun, challenges, etc.  So I resolved to ensure that 2009 had plenty of the things I needed and wanted.

Looking back, I can see the many, many ways I reached my new year’s resolution.  There was definitely an abundance in my life last year.  I read tons of books, built up our savings account beyond the suggested amount, pushed myself to new challenges, went on two vacations, met so many new people, etc.  In a word, 2009 was definitely a year of plenty.

But having a new year’s word is not just about being active in generating it, it is also about being reactive towards recognizing it.  Since it permeates everything, it offers a means of grounding myself as well as pushing myself.  It’s a focal point to stop and reflect upon, not just reach towards.  For example, the times I felt rushed and exhausted, I could remind myself this was because there was plenty of interesting and good stuff going on.  

Plenty was a great word for describing 2009 right to end, seeing as we hosted a new year’s eve party with plenty of good friends, family, food and fun! 

I stumbled across this year’s word by chance in a conversation with my best friend.  While talking to her about my hopes and fears for next year, it became obvious that they were all centered around a need for a peace of mind.  But the word peace wasn’t right.  Peace is too inert for me, too over-the-top to be a real and tangible goal.  What I really need is serenity.  Serenity still involves movement and action, but in a controlled, calm and ordered way.  I don’t mind conflict, excitement or challenges, so peace is too lofty a word.  What I want and need is a stronger sense of assurance and composure throughout the ups and downs.  And, let’s face it, we all know there will be ups and downs. 

Serenity. 

A mighty fine word for 2010 if I say so myself. 

Wednesday
06Jan2010

It's That Time Of The Year Again

The holidays are over.

I can bare winter only until the holidays are over.  Now all that’s left is one bleak and dreary day after another, struggling with the heartless cold, constant darkness (both inner and out) and the occasional hellish snow.  I hate the snow.

I have SAD.  Seasonal Affective Disorder.  Mind you, I have never been officially diagnosed, but honestly it doesn’t take a rocket scientist or a clinical therapist to figure this out.

The holidays are over.  And so am I, for now.  Until spring and the hope of renewal arrive.

OK, I think I am ready now.  I’ve got my new kindle beside me, all loaded up with good reads.  I have ten extra pounds of blubber on me, thanks to holiday cookies, cakes and candy canes.  Yep, I am ready for my retreat. 

Oh, I’ll still be around now and again. Reading. Lurking. And probably writing too. 

But for the most part, I’ll be hiding in my cave.

Saturday
26Dec2009

Happy Holidays

Happy New Year to everyone!

Hope your holidays are happy, healthy and hopeful!

xoxo

Momish